Remember that time I went back to BC for the holidays and I was all yeah, I’m going to write all the time. I’m going to update my blog so often that I’ll crash the internet. That’s how prolific I’m going to be!
Okay, maybe you didn’t know about my personal ambition of breaking the internet, but perhaps you knew that first bit about the visit to the west coast. Let’s take a look back at all the blog posts I managed to bang out over those five long weeks.
There’s one, and…hmm, that’s it. One.
Take that, internet. Buckle under the weight of my words!! MWAHAHAHAHA!
What is the opposite of prolific? The internet of which I mock suggests words like barren, fruitless, and impotent. Ouch.
I think I’ll take this slightly embarrassing lapse in productivity and turn it into a…
Drum roll please…
You guessed it, loyal reader. A “BEST OF” LIST! WOOT!
Best Activities of My West Coast Visit**
Flooding my mom’s house. Because a visit home isn’t complete without causing some property damage. I decided to rinse the chlorine out of my bathing suit in the upstairs bathroom sink. I turned the hot water on, inserted the plug, and hey! What’s that shiny thing over here? lalala, hmhmhm, dododo… Some time later I wandered into the bathroom to discover a large, very hot lake where the linoleum floor used to be. I cleaned it up, thankful that no one would ever have to know about my extreme stupidity. A while later my mom came home and asked what all the water was doing in the downstairs hallway. It leaked through the floor/roof and caused a small indoor reservoir. Right beside her computer and all her office equipment. Heehee, oops!
Cooking Batbouts with my dad. We spent a day cooking a Moroccan dinner, including such delicacies as a fig and olive rabbit stew thing, spicy carrots, couscous, tabouleh, and batbouts. I don’t know how they’re supposed to be pronounced, but we were calling them “bat-boots”. Say it. Out loud. Now. It’s fun, no? As fun as they are to say, cooking them is even funner. They’re sort of like a pita. You slap the thin dough in a really hot pan and they balloon up like a wholewheat pillow.
Watching my parents try to set up a VCR. I remember when we first got a VCR. I was probably about nine. It went with our very first colour TV and it was awesome. We could rent Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and Overboard any time we wanted. Sweet!
Melissa and I wanted to relive part of our childhood by watching Gremlins, and the only copy we could find was a VHS. No problem, my mom said. I have a VCR in the cupboard. Hours later and there were cables and remotes and crumbly brown manuals all over the living room floor. We live in a culture of HDTV and PVR and cable boxes and blue ray and movies coming in through our gaming consoles and TV that you can pause. And there I was, brought back to the sweet age of nine, sitting on the couch watching both my parents hunched over in the dim lighting of the TV, trying to figure out how to hook up a gosh darn VCR.
They couldn’t do it.
Eating sushi. Oh, sushi, how I’ve missed thee. It’s not that it doesn’t exist in Halifax. But it’s not plentiful and therefore is freaking expensive. In Victoria it is good. And cheap.
I ate it.
Secret Activity. My absolute favouritest thing I did while in BC was so utterly wonderful and fantastic that it deserves its own blog post. But be assured that it rocked. It is a combination of sweet and cute and awesome and funny and at times very, very loud.
** This list doesn’t include things like visiting with my family and friends, which was lovely to do, but, and I mean absolutely no offence, sort of boring to write about. I mean, who wants to read and then I saw this person and it was fun, and then I saw this other person and it was also fun, and then I ate sausage cheese fondo with yet another person and guess what? It was fun! I sure don’t. And I was there.